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2018 Webinar 4 Part 1- Trudi Newton: The social roles triangle, folktales and TA metaphors

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Jun 062018
 

The webinar introduces the social roles triangle as a way of describing healthy development, and explore how it can become distorted into the drama triangle. We use different folk-tales to look at how cultural messages are passed on between generations, how we can challenge them and how we create positive TA models for change.
The webinar is aimed at everyone interested in new TA thinking and personal development.
Outcomes: participants will
• meet some recent TA concepts based on ‘positive metaphors’
• have the opportunity to explore the influence of cultural stories in our development
• consider how these ideas can enhance the work we do with clients

Trudi Newton TSTA-E works internationally to facilitate radical approaches to learning and community development. Co-author of several books, including TACTICS which looks in detail at the process of learning and teaching, her most recent is Educational Transactional Analysis: an international guide to theory and practice. Trudi has guest-edited two issues of TAJ, on Education and on TA Training. She contributes to training programmes in several countries including South Africa. In 2011 she received the Muriel James Living Principles Award from ITAA and in 2017 the EATA Gold Medal in recognition of her work in developing the educational field of TA.

Layo shares her memory on a workshop by Anette Dielmann and Kathy Christina Pithan from the Berlin Conference in 2017

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May 082018
 

Anette Dielmann and Kathy Christina Pithan observe that the effectiveness of TA is very much evident in relationships – with ourselves, our clients and systems. In their workshop in Berlin on 28th July 2017, Anette and Kathy demonstrated how they make use of the special relationship competence of animals in their practice, specifically horses and dogs. Thinking back to this workshop almost a year later, snapshots of memory form in my mind’s eye. I remember what had meaning for me on that day.

We are sitting in a circle, Kathy’s two dogs in the middle, greeting participants, accepting cuddles and pats. They go very close to some people, keep more distance from others.

A woman wants to explore her behaviour in relationships. She chooses a dog to do this with. The exercise: connect with the dog, ask her (the dog) to get onto a shiny carpet of silver foil and stay on it for a set time (a few seconds). The client connects strongly with the animal, speaking softly, there are many words, cooing, cuddling, patting. After a while, they begin to walk around together, the dog eager at first, the human very caring, looking big and somewhat hesitant. When the woman steps onto the carpet, the dog does not follow, seems unsure. The exercise looks difficult. I feel tension in the room. The facilitators ask the client how she feels. I recognise TA concepts in their questions. The client reflects with the coaches around “who is OK in this relationship and who is not”, “who is taking care of who”, “how is responsibility held”, “how does discounting self and others show up typically”.

The facilitators end the exercise when the client has recognised her own patterns, decided what she wants to work on developing for herself – in her own context. Everyone relaxes. The dog plays on the silver carpet.

The aim was not for the client to become an expert in getting a dog to do what she wants. It was to support the client in becoming more of an expert on herself.

How coaching sessions with direct feedback from animals (responding to all that is present in the moment) can help increase a client’s self-awareness, clarity and confidence can be described theoretically at length. For me, experiencing this phenomenon has had the most profound impact.

2018 Webinar 3- Pete Shotton: This is who I am, this is where I live, this is where I learn

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May 032018
 

This webinar is about education and existence. Pete will explain his thinking about practice and purpose of education using ideas developed from TA theory and from existential philosophy and thinking. During the webinar, we will explore the tensions between the political and the personal in the practice of education. This webinar is aimed at practitioners who work in, or are interested in, or affected by, learning settings. Take-aways for participants include:

• an enlivened curiosity

• a desire to question the context and purpose of education

• an enhanced sense of their own place and importance within the educational process

2018 Webinar 2: The Happy Educator with Nevenka Miljkovic

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Apr 072018
 

How can an educator, where ever she or he works, support herself or himself in the best way?

The webinar is for all practitioners, who may at times play the role of educator. The webinar will assist those who use TA in their thinking and teaching.

Participants will review Contracting and Relational needs and reflect on their own (relational) needs when they are in the role of educator.

Nevenka is a native Serb, living in Germany for more than 25 years. She has served as Vice President for the European Association of Transactional Analysis and is currently their language coordinator, (Serbo-Croatian languages). She is a Provisional TSTA in the Educational field.

2017 Webinar 5- Lieuwe Koopmans: The Power of the Encounter

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Mar 182018
 

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This webinar is about the here and now relationship between coach-coachee, counsellor-client, teacher-pupil. We will research the ideas behind co-creative TA and translate them into daily practice. What do they mean for your work? How can you develop skills that will make you more able to gain benefits from the here and now relationship?

Topics explored are:
– Working without knowing
– Creating a timeless experience
– Speaking from your heart
– The necessity of humour
– The meaning of emotions and your body
– Empathy
– Being Aware

At the end of this workshop you’ll have:
– Gained insight in the backgrounds of co-creative TA and the relation with positive psychology
– Ideas how this can enrich your practice and what you need to develop
– Curiosity to learn more about it

The webinar is for everyone with an open mind, open heart and open attitude for development and learning.

Lieuwe Koopmans (1962) is a Dutch TSTA-O. He works as a coach, trainer and consultant. In 2016 he was in South Africa twice, where he introduced the Functional Fluency model and the TIFF (Temple Index for Functional Fluency). He has written several books on TA. One of them has just been translated into English: This is me-becoming who you are with Transactional analysis’.

Trudi Newton reviewed: ‘I love this book. Why? I love stories, drama and theatre, and Lieuwe Koopmans presents a lively and original take on Transactional analysis concepts by creating an engaging theatrical metaphor.’ (sherwood publishing)

His latest book (in Dutch) is called ‘This is who we are-The power of the encounter’.

2018 Webinar 1- Elena Soboleva: Time, Script and Procrastination

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Mar 182018
 

Time, script and procrastination
Elena Soboleva TSTA (P) Psychologist

During the webinar recording, participants explore their script beliefs around time structure; find a connection between procrastination and attitude to time structure and script beliefs.

Takeaways include:
• learning a model of focusing,
• using a focusing model to change script beliefs, and
• preventing procrastination.

Reflections from Berlin (2) by Karen Pratt

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Feb 062018
 

Workshop: The Same but Different – the Paradox of Belonging
Presented by Lis and John Heath (both TSTA -P)

Lis and John – having been in a marriage for a considerable number of years, considered what it means to be in a committed relationship and keep one’s own sense of self, and at the same time create a rich shared sense of the we-ness of the relationship.

They shared some thought provoking quotes such as:
“You can only be like someone if you are already different from them” – Adam Phillips

Some key points in the workshop were:

Autonomy vs homonomy
They explored how autonomy in each partner can enable both individual growth as well as intimate belonging by each having an authentic encounter with the other, and being willing to receive and hear without interpretation. Sometimes partners find themselves competitive in terms of the Parent values each holds – can we be open to hold different values? Are we willing to be close (Child to Child energy) or do we stay protective of our individual sense of who we are and avoid closeness for fear of being “swallowed up” in the other?

My culture? Your culture? Our culture?
Each partner comes from their unique family culture and in relationship creates a new shared culture – are we open to do this, or are the cultures of our families of origin / ancestors held on to with rigidity and a refusal to think differently?
We need to be open to co-create a new shared culture which is always changing and alive.

Symbiosis and healthy togetherness
The initial point of attraction in a relationship often has symbiotic elements. We look for what we lacked when we were growing up, in a partner. We need to give up what we never did get in the past, and then we can be open and available to get what there actually is right now in the relationship.

They described symbiosis as “ belonging TO somebody”, and a healthy intimate relationship as “ belonging WITH somebody” – a paradoxical sense of separateness and togetherness.

They shared a new ego state diagram that captures this:
The intersecting parts of the 2 Parent ego states represent the new, always emerging shared co-created culture, the intersecting parts of the 2 Child ego states represent the shared history of intimate and authentic experiences, and the relationship is always grounded by the Adult to Adult co-creative relationship – dynamic and present centered but unique and separate.

 

 

Intimacy

This separateness and togetherness is a dynamic process – it’s not dependant on what’s gone before and a continuing striving to reinforce old patterns – it’s being present in the here and now in the integrating Adult. Intimacy carries a high risk – it is unpredictable. Each partner needs to be secure enough in themselves to be able to endure the unpredictability of intimacy. This doesn’t mean we want to have a flawless, perfect, game-free relationship. They remind us that games can be viewed as gateway towards intimate relating if we are prepared to stay with the dynamic honestly and openly and learn from it.

Questions for reflection

We had time to consider some provocative questions, sharing with another person in the workshop. I invite you to consider them holding in mind one of your intimate relationships:

  1. What aspect of myself am I wanting the other person to see? / What in me is longing to be known?
  2. What aspect of the other do I think that they long for me to know / see?
  3. What would I be prepared to give up in order to improve this relationship?
  4. What might I like the other to give up?

Final thoughts

Although John and Lis were speaking from their own personal experience of their marriage, I think the principles have a wider application to our many relationships – with colleagues, friends and acquintances.

Living in the dynamic multicultural milieu of South Africa – what principles might be useful to consider as we relate to people the same as, or different from us? How do we remain authentically powerful within ourselves and at the same time authentically in relationship with the other?

2017 Webinar 6- Rosemary Napper: Do you Practice TA Interculturally? Part 1

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Nov 142017
 

This recording is part 1 of the webinar. You can find parts 2 and 3 on the “Webinar” playlist on our YouTube channel.

This is for TA learners who work with people from different cultures: family cultures, ethnic cultures, organisational cultures. In the modern world this is probably all of us whatever our field of practice.

Takeaways include:
• ways to work through intercultural OKness
• contemporary ways of conceptualising culture in TA
• consideration of the tugs between the different cultures that you are part of.